>>2171OP I sort of used to have an audience for my art. I understand you. Really. I ran away and left my account abandonned. My art is still out there but I simply abandonned everything because of tsort of the same feelings as you described. So much guilt and disgust too. I couldn't even have the time to delete everything because of how panicked I was. I couldn't entertain an audience. It went from a small group of friends to a big number of people. It felt like my art was constantly tested and it felt like i had to draw for others to keep them entertained. As if you have to upload youtube videos every week to keep your viewers coming (that's the only comparision i could find). I guess you keep creating and creating but the burn out is insane and you end up creating for others and not yourself.
The worst for me was that I have created art that is problematic. The changing times have showed me how harsh problematic artists get it. Some of my art has caused a bit of drama too. I couldn't handle all that "internet responsibility".
In the end I couldn't handle it, i just abandonend everything. Stopped posting and I know some people wonder where I went and I honestly hope they all forget about me. Now I only feel comfortable posting my art in an anonymous context because at least that way I am forgettable and people only save my art is they genuinely like it.
I don't know if its the right thing to do. It has caused me to be extremely anxious about ever posting my art online again under any screenname and be much more critical of myself (which sometimes erases the fun). I reallly do hope that if you do move on this won't happen to you. If you do move out maybe don't do it in a traumatic way like I did, maybe that would help ease the process.