/ot/ - Off-Topic

I bought a dakimakura last month and it showed up today. I was a bit nervous and embarrassed putting it together even though I specifically got one that was sfw. It's one of those things that I always felt like I needed to be a true anime fan, but now there's a bit of shame and buyers regret like "how pathetic is that?" idk, it's at least going to be comfortable to sleep with, I just never feel like this buying figures or doujin, not sure why I feel so weird about this.

>>10462
>I just never feel like this buying figures or doujin, not sure why I feel so weird about this.
Which character did you get?
It's probably because of the main reason and stereotype that male otaku buy them as jerk off material.
If it's a character that you like, I don't see why you should feel ashamed. Maybe think of him as the protector of your dreams and well rest when you go to sleep kek

There's only one daki cover I would ever consider getting but since I can't get his boyfriend's equivalent (since he's an eroge protagonist and the character I'm talking about was lucky/popular enough to get that one) I don't think I'll ever buy it… Plus the daki is like 10+ years old.
That doesn't stop me from dreaming and wondering about 'what if I bought it' scenarios every time I see a listing. Maybe one day I'll take the chance and buy it as a curtain kek

>>10463
It's not official, but I got one of Adachi, it was a late-night impulse buy when the new P4 remake trailer dropped, it was like "fuck it I've liked this character and game for a decade I'm getting one." It's not even a bedsheet style one I just got a piece of fanart that cropped well on the pillow, haha.

I suppose the stereotypical male otaku jack-off material angle is true. With doujinshi you always have the mental image of both sexes enjoying them, whereas body pillows are very male dominated even though plenty of series aimed at women have official ones. We'll see if the buyer regret wears off after a bit.

>There's only one daki cover I would ever consider getting but since I can't get his boyfriend's equivalent… I don't think I'll ever buy it
Do you ship him with Riki?

I always think it's weird that so many random series just have official dakimakura. Ososan, Yowpeda, TTGL, Black Butler, the list goes on. It's one of those things that you associate with being sexual, like you said, so when non-ero series get merch like that it's weird.

>>10462
>>10463
Yeah, I've considered buying one before of a male character I really like but in my mind it has a connotation that made me stop and question if it was too much of a Yume thing to buy a daki of a guy, moreso than buying a plush or keychain of him.

>>10463
>>10464
Why do you even care about gender demographics when both of these series are aimed at men anyway? What man is even buying anime boy body pillows? Its weird how everyone here has this hate boner for male otaku and doesnt want to be compared to them, instead of just enjoying shit.
Like damn grow up.

>>10486
I'm not allowed to admit to feeling weird about my 3AM impulse buy in the confession thread? I didn't say male otaku bad, I just agree with nonna it might be a factor in why I feeling weird about buying this but not figures or other merchandise, you're misreading my post most of what I read is seinen it's not a matter of not wanting to be near ugly male otaku lol.

>judgement free zone
>get insulted for likeing certain ships or character
>literally every site
Honestly don't even know why I still try to be into greater fandom, writing into a void is more fun than getting hatemail on a fic.

I was thinking back about Gankutsuou today, and remembered that my first experience with The Count of Monte Cristo was the 2002 movie that changed Albert into being The Count's son
SO when I watched Gankutsuou for the first time some years later with that knowledge in mind and saw the homoeroticism between them… um… it seemed so wrong but so right…
But then Albert looked a lot his dad in the anime and I read up more about the original story and how Albert and The Count were unrelated and had a mix of relief and disappointment
Still a pretty good grooming ship though

>>10561
Would you recommend it to someone completely unfamiliar with the original story? It has such a pretty art style, but I know literally nothing about the classic so I have always wondered if it'd be better if I read the novel first.

>>10562
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Although Gankutsuou kicks off a decent way into the original story, I think the change in setting and the way it's structured is great for people that don't know the classic
I loved the 2002 movie I saw with all its changes, so I don't imagine Gankutsuou would be any less great without reading the original
I wouldn't stop you from reading it though, it's one of those classics that's actually worth reading in the modern age

>>10563
I think I'll start it next then! Maybe it will inspire me to read the novel afterwards. Expect an update in the anime thread in a few days.

>>10561
Oh yeah I remember this movie. My sister loved it because she's a huge fan of the dead wife trope (that I hate so much). I wanted to get into it because of the boy's relationship with the Count and his best friend.
But then I learned he had a love interest and never did watch it.

>>10569
If I recall correctly in the original French serial Albert's love interest runs from the mess by crossdressing as a man and is later found in bed with another woman. Most English editions omit this because the earlier sanitized translations are the ones out of copyright and free to reprint.

I started smoking recently after doing so on a trip out the country. It sucks because smoking is seen as socially cringe in my age cohort but it's genuinely one of the few things that gets me off my phone and feeling grounded. I'm well aware of the health risk but fuck, society's already fucking me in the ass I really don't care right now lmao. I should try mediating or lighting incense outside or something.

>>10417
Me too, in fact my bf encouraged it, but I don't even like talking during sex when it's normal, so I don't really get anything out of it. Maybe if I got over myself, but my sex drive is also scarily low so it's just hard for me to get exited in general

>>10730
Your bf encouraged yaoi rp? Are you dating a fudan or something?

>>10731
Nope I just talk alot about the fanfic I like and he likes me so! He's also bisexual but he's only seemed to fully realize that recently. I don't actually think that's a factor much either, I'm pretty sure it's just that he wanta me to enjoy myself haha

>>10729
What a coincidence anon, I also picked up smoking recently after a trip. But I'm thinking of quitting because it's not that fun when you do it by yourself. I like smoking when I'm with friends, we stand in a circle and talk about whatever bullshit while smoking. It feels like a fun little ritual, passing the lighter around and trying the different brands that each person smokes. In contrast, smoking by yourself feels like day drinking kek it makes me feel depressed and lonely.

>>10738
Wow hope you had a nice trip! Yeah I wish I had that social aspect too. I started only because a girl at a bar smoked with me and gave me a pack of cigarettes. It was great just chilling in front of the bar. I like just sitting around chatting with my friends it seems like it would be a nice addition but I would unironically get clowned on for it.

>In contrast, smoking by yourself feels like day drinking kek it makes me feel depressed and lonely.
Yeah I can understand that that's why I only smoke once a day at night. Anymore makes me feel like an addict. I also resist the urges to do it in front of family or friends. Feels more like a ritual rather than reacting to some immediate craving.

>>10739
>I would unironically get clowned on for it.
I was going to say 'wow, what terrible friends!' But then I realised that I also would have clowned on you up until very recently kek smoking is bad for you! You have good friends anon!

Can somebody fucking tell me who was in the wrong here? I'm so fucking tired to deal with people more mentally ill than me jesus man.
Basically, I have two friends, Friend 1 and Friend 2. I've had a lot of problems with Friend 2 since last year.
Last year, I used to be pretty depressed, and I'd vent to Friend 2 about my feelings or feeling insecure if we weren't friends, etc. It did bother her a bit and after a while, she ghosted me completely (blocking me and deleting her discord, but still following me on twitter on TWO accounts). I did feel pretty hurt by this because she never even explained to me anything, and whenever I wanted to know even from other friends, she wouldn't say.
I understood if I had hurt her at some point and simply gave her her space. This was around October last year.
Despite not talking to me and blocking me and ghosting me, she still followed my twitter and even would like some posts from time to time.
During January of this year, Friend 1 came back online (she disappears a lot without warning and has no other presence otherwise) and I was happy to see her and said hi, we talked for a bit and everything was fine. But as soon as Friend 2 knew I talked to Friend 1, she blocked me. (Friend 1 is her girlfriend).
Despite knowing that Friend 1 is Friend 2's girlfriend, I never brought the drama between me and her and just talked to her normally because she's still my friend regardless of Friend 2 and I met her before even Friend 2 ever had an account.
I was very upset and hurt by this, but Friend 2 still refused to talk to me or even explain why.
Until one day, she exploded on twitter basically telling me to shut up and that I don't let people be, why are you upset that I'm mad at you, blahblah, never explaining and just dogpiling on me. I just simply said "Why can't you just leave me in peace? You said you want nothing to do with me and no drama and then post this to your followers instead of even telling me on DM anything".
Things dwindled down, she deleted her posts and I did mine, assuming that the "we'll never have to do anything to do with each other again" thing was in effect and I tried my best to just let it be I guess.
By the way, she still never unfollowed me in her second acc.

>>10771
>message too long
damn it
anyway, cue to somewhere in June, she messaged me in her second acc, when I made a tweet saying "I miss Friend 1. I know Friend 2 doesn't like me but I still wonder how Friend 1 is doing" and for the first time in months she actually bothered to DM me simply saying "don't mention friend 1, I want nothing to do with you but stop mentioning her" and I simply said that I just missed my friend, who disappeared again for 6 months at the time??? Weirdly enough, she was willing to talk for a short period and idk what happened in the middle of the conversation that she went "ok, the past is the past and I'm glad things are different now" and I said I apologized if I treated her badly in the past and she said thank you and SEEMINGLY we made up.
And now in August, I simply said again that I missed Friend 1 because during these months is when I met her and she seems to have pretty much gone without a trace with nobody knowing where she is. I never mentioned Friend 2 or anything, simply "I hope Friend 1 is okay" and now Friend 2 blocked me on the second account.
And I'm just at a loss at whatever the fuck is going through Friend 2's head anymore. I always notice she gets unreasonably angry when it concerns Friend 1 but I have always treated Friend 1 normally, never had any problems with her, we didn't talk much because of her constant disappearances even when we met but we still hung out reasonably together.
Friend 1 once told me a long time ago, that Friend 2 always got upset at her whenever she saw her socializing. She had to make alt accs to talk to other people away from Friend 2's knowledge and told me to never say anything about that, and I never did. Even if it were a gotcha towards Friend 2, I have never mentioned this because I worry about Friend 1 if she's the type of controlling unstable lesbian gf.
At this point I'm just so fed up with Friend 2 and I really only care about Friend 1's well being but the only person in contact with Friend 1 is Friend 2 and she just fucking hates me I guess??? For worrying about someone I haven't talked to in eight fucking months.
Friend 2 also always acts fake nice with other people but in reality she doesn't really talk to anyone "deeply". She's like the type of person that is entirely fandom-driven and doesn't want anyone to know her, but she's still willing to post messages of support for other people even when they are vent posts but just has a vendetta against me

>>10771
>>10772
everyone in this situation sounds obnoxious and unwell.

>>10771
>>10772

It sounds like you need to let BOTH these people go, and stop posting on twitter about it.

>>10772
Hm. If you were following someone on Twitter, and they made a tweet saying, "I know (OP) doesn't like me, but I wonder how (OP)'s girlfriend is doing," wouldn't that set you off? Just from being mentioned at all? There might also be drama behind the scenes in their relationship that you don't know about, even outside of the socializing thing. Better to disengage entirely imo.

>>10774
>>10773
I know that I should've just let it go, but I still find incomprehensible how it just happened overnight and I guess I'm insistent in trying to figure out what's wrong to no avail and things getting worse.

>>10775
The thing is that Friend 1 had simply been my friend long before I ever even knew they were in any relationship, so I simply cared about her as being my friend without caring whether they're girlfriends or not.

>>10776
Just wait until Friend 1 comes around on her own again, and accept that Friend 2 is too volatile to interact with. I would not try to fix things with Friend 2 considering she seems to hate you for whatever reason and has her own issues to sort through.

>>10772
>>10771
I'm not sure I followed the whole story very well but do you know both friends irl?

>>10771
>>10772
Let me get this straight: you gave Friend 2 literally months of space, and the moment you said a single thing they publicly acted like you'd been hounding them? So everyone would get the wrong impression about your behavior? Someone who does that is quite likely the kind of storyteller who exaggerates and makes shit up about you behind your back to justify their feelings (eg. "she did this because she must know [thing you had no way of knowing]! It was deliberate!"). It's a whole lot of injustice done to you, and that shit feels awful especially when they refuse to explain anything, but ultimately the only way to not look like a mess is to continue keeping a distance and let them be the one who flips out in front of everyone.

Like the other nona says, it's up to Friend 1 to come to you now. I'd add that you have tried what you can, and the burden is no longer on you. She's an adult and the responsibility of maintaining her friendships is hers too. If Friend 2 has said anything of your messages to her, then she at least knows you're still interested in staying friends. However, if Friend 2 is the kind of talk shit, continuing to reach out or argue anything will just be ammo for her to paint you in a bad light regardless of how sensible your responses are.

These stupid things happen, and there is a chance you'll lose your friends forever because of it, but in this moment I'd prioritize not making it blow up in your face any more than it has. Losing a friendship hurts, but it'll hurt less if you step back and tell yourself there's no right way to fix it right now. Trust that Friend 1 might come back in her own time, and that maybe, just maybe, Friend 2 will look back at this incident and blurt out what her actual issue was. I mean, fuck, you already waited for them before, you tried talking it out, they were and are not ready for negotiation. Nothing you can presently do so try not to blame yourself.

My libido is making me so unproductive. One suggestive comment or if I see anything sexually suggestive and I am day dreaming in lust for hours. I envy those with low sex drives.

>>10789
Ugh, I'm going through a dry spell now so I miss daydreaming about a special m/m pair. Its always so nice and blissful my heart feels content.
Right now I feel dead inside.

>>10789
Nonna, me too…I sometimes think about men's bodies too much I wished I was asexual. At least then I can get some shit done than spend my days thinking about gay shit and muscles.

I don't want to go to work today. I've been at home for days, I've slacked off the whole time because there's barely anything to do and I've been doing unrelated things instead.

i feel like everyone in this fandom hates me which makes it very lonely

>>10808
I've never been very active in fandom outside of making my own stuff, and every time I try to get more involved I feel like the oldest person in a room of toddlers. It's just demoralizing to actually try to interact with people and so much infighting.

>>10809
ayrt shockingly even in the tiny fandom i'm in, we all seem to be around the same age afaik (at least older than early 20s) and still there's drama. i want to keep making stuff but interaction is important and it feels demoralizing to feel like that is cut off

>>10790
During my last dry spell I did think about how it feels like I am either unsatisfied or insatiable and there is no balanced state between the two. If it wasn't for the internet I would be making terrible life decisions.

My friends annoy me and I've been distancing myself from them little by little. The reasons why can seem very judgmental but their problems are self inflicted and I can't relate to that when I'm dealing with issues that are pretty bad but completely out of my control. I don't want to hear about how one of them hasn't been able to find a job for more than a year when she could have had a career if she were a lot smarter with her choices in university and was fine with not starting with a prestigious job with an unrealistic salary as soon as possible when she doesn't have the qualifications for what she wants to do at all. If she weren't the type who's too proud to beg (her words not mine) for a job she would have had one already. She always had the money and freedom necessary to pick whatever university and foreign exchange program she wanted but always made terrible choices and bitches about it to me, who was dirt poor and had no choices at the time, years after graduation. Another friend turned into a terminally online neet and also had way, way more opportunities than average for someone from her country but fumbled everything to spend her family's money on online games to virtually hang out with troons. My other friends aren't that bad but I really feel like I can't tell them anything about myself anymore. It's like we're not from the same planet anymore. I haven't seen them irl since I came back from holidays and it's freeing, except for the first one by accident which ruined my plans for the day. To younger anons, don't befriend people irl just because you have similar hobbies.

>>10871
Ah, as a neet who has working friends I understand lol. It's hard to connect with someone who lives such a different life from yours, at that point it's really better to distance yourself.

>>10872
At least the neet friend from abroad is distancing herself from all of us and has been for a long time, to the point where when she still lived in our city we started assuming something bad happened to her like an accident ot suicide. The first one I described just sent me a message to tell me she will move to another city next week I think so I will still check up on her one last time. I assume she couldn't find a job fast enough to move somewhere else because the landlord wants to sell the place where she lives. Her situation is very stressful but seeing that it could have been very different if she at least tried stresses me out even more. She even acted like she was above a job I actually did for a year until I could find something else just because it can be stressful and the hours can suck if you're unlucky. I believe being homeless sucks more but whatever, not my business anymore. Both friends are neet but are very different as well.

>>10873
>She even acted like she was above a job I actually did for a year until I could find something else
Doesn't sound like something a good friend would do, from your description she feels like an annoying person to deal with so good riddance.
If friendship brings more negatives than positives then it's not worth maintaining it.

Do you ever read something really dark / angsty / degenerate because you're upset and need to cope for whatever reason but then a moment or a concept hits you really hard emotionally out of nowhere even though it's fucked up?

>>10958
almost all the time.

>>10958
Yeah. A lot of the time during my depressive episodes I seek out dark stuff to cope and to vent and I'm enjoying it, but suddenly a switch inside of my head is triggered by some certain thing. Like something hits too close to home and I don't have the personal detachment from the work anymore.

I make it a rule not to read doujinshi of series or ships I'm unfamiliar with, but today I gave into the urge. Too bad I don't want to get into the main series since at least half of it on paper is not my vibe. Oh well.

Being a fujoshi isn't fun anymore. Fan spaces are filled with annoying people with shit takes on everything. Fanartists and fic writers never get my fave characters right and it pisses me the fuck off. Of course, I put my money where my mouth is and create the stuff I want to see, but I can't really shut the rest of the fandom out. Their shitty ooc fan interpretations always manages to seep into my field of vision no matter what and it's so aggravating.
I think I might be too autistic for this scene. Maybe I need to step away from fujoshism and pick up a normie hobby like hiking or day drinking or something until I've cooled down enough to go on AO3 without having an aneurysm…

>>11020
Befriending fellow nipons on xitter regained some of the love I had for fandom spaces again, I loved the circle jerk we curated making AUs and drawing scenarios from the fanfics from non artists and fanfic authors writing fanfic based off fanart. I still deactivated tho cause social media numbers intimidate me and a big account (who made landmine) retweeted my stuff sent a huge amount of engagement that got me anxious about normies liking my SFW stuff only to click on my account and see my derranged smut scenarios…

Nowadays I watch foreign accounts from afar and collect doujin for ship food. Its lonely but its the only way to keep my eternal devotion to BL without burning out into a normiefag. I'll pick up normie hobbies on the side but hell will freeze over before I stop being a fujo cause of fakejos shitting up the spaces we currated.

>>11020
Just have fun with the source material, that's how fandoms used to be before/during the first age of the internet.
Around early to mid 2010s is when fandom usurped the actual content in importance and things have been more obnoxious since.

>>11020
I've gone back to reading fanfics from ff.net and lj just to avoid the modern fandom interpretations and writing conventions. Most of my favorite series are old so there's still a big backlog of decent stuff to go through that I haven't seen already.
What I miss most is having fandom friends, but it's not worth the gamble of seeing people who make me want to tear my hair out.

>>11025
I have the problem of going back to old Fanfiction I used to enjoy only to realize it's very tween-y and kinda shit. Modern fanfiction that's good blows old stuff out of the water it's just a bitch to filter though infinite AUs and OOC shit like ABO.