/ot/ - Off-Topic

>>10771
>>10772
Let me get this straight: you gave Friend 2 literally months of space, and the moment you said a single thing they publicly acted like you'd been hounding them? So everyone would get the wrong impression about your behavior? Someone who does that is quite likely the kind of storyteller who exaggerates and makes shit up about you behind your back to justify their feelings (eg. "she did this because she must know [thing you had no way of knowing]! It was deliberate!"). It's a whole lot of injustice done to you, and that shit feels awful especially when they refuse to explain anything, but ultimately the only way to not look like a mess is to continue keeping a distance and let them be the one who flips out in front of everyone.

Like the other nona says, it's up to Friend 1 to come to you now. I'd add that you have tried what you can, and the burden is no longer on you. She's an adult and the responsibility of maintaining her friendships is hers too. If Friend 2 has said anything of your messages to her, then she at least knows you're still interested in staying friends. However, if Friend 2 is the kind of talk shit, continuing to reach out or argue anything will just be ammo for her to paint you in a bad light regardless of how sensible your responses are.

These stupid things happen, and there is a chance you'll lose your friends forever because of it, but in this moment I'd prioritize not making it blow up in your face any more than it has. Losing a friendship hurts, but it'll hurt less if you step back and tell yourself there's no right way to fix it right now. Trust that Friend 1 might come back in her own time, and that maybe, just maybe, Friend 2 will look back at this incident and blurt out what her actual issue was. I mean, fuck, you already waited for them before, you tried talking it out, they were and are not ready for negotiation. Nothing you can presently do so try not to blame yourself.

My libido is making me so unproductive. One suggestive comment or if I see anything sexually suggestive and I am day dreaming in lust for hours. I envy those with low sex drives.

>>10789
Ugh, I'm going through a dry spell now so I miss daydreaming about a special m/m pair. Its always so nice and blissful my heart feels content.
Right now I feel dead inside.

>>10789
Nonna, me too…I sometimes think about men's bodies too much I wished I was asexual. At least then I can get some shit done than spend my days thinking about gay shit and muscles.

I don't want to go to work today. I've been at home for days, I've slacked off the whole time because there's barely anything to do and I've been doing unrelated things instead.

i feel like everyone in this fandom hates me which makes it very lonely

>>10808
I've never been very active in fandom outside of making my own stuff, and every time I try to get more involved I feel like the oldest person in a room of toddlers. It's just demoralizing to actually try to interact with people and so much infighting.

>>10809
ayrt shockingly even in the tiny fandom i'm in, we all seem to be around the same age afaik (at least older than early 20s) and still there's drama. i want to keep making stuff but interaction is important and it feels demoralizing to feel like that is cut off

>>10790
During my last dry spell I did think about how it feels like I am either unsatisfied or insatiable and there is no balanced state between the two. If it wasn't for the internet I would be making terrible life decisions.

My friends annoy me and I've been distancing myself from them little by little. The reasons why can seem very judgmental but their problems are self inflicted and I can't relate to that when I'm dealing with issues that are pretty bad but completely out of my control. I don't want to hear about how one of them hasn't been able to find a job for more than a year when she could have had a career if she were a lot smarter with her choices in university and was fine with not starting with a prestigious job with an unrealistic salary as soon as possible when she doesn't have the qualifications for what she wants to do at all. If she weren't the type who's too proud to beg (her words not mine) for a job she would have had one already. She always had the money and freedom necessary to pick whatever university and foreign exchange program she wanted but always made terrible choices and bitches about it to me, who was dirt poor and had no choices at the time, years after graduation. Another friend turned into a terminally online neet and also had way, way more opportunities than average for someone from her country but fumbled everything to spend her family's money on online games to virtually hang out with troons. My other friends aren't that bad but I really feel like I can't tell them anything about myself anymore. It's like we're not from the same planet anymore. I haven't seen them irl since I came back from holidays and it's freeing, except for the first one by accident which ruined my plans for the day. To younger anons, don't befriend people irl just because you have similar hobbies.

>>10871
Ah, as a neet who has working friends I understand lol. It's hard to connect with someone who lives such a different life from yours, at that point it's really better to distance yourself.

>>10872
At least the neet friend from abroad is distancing herself from all of us and has been for a long time, to the point where when she still lived in our city we started assuming something bad happened to her like an accident ot suicide. The first one I described just sent me a message to tell me she will move to another city next week I think so I will still check up on her one last time. I assume she couldn't find a job fast enough to move somewhere else because the landlord wants to sell the place where she lives. Her situation is very stressful but seeing that it could have been very different if she at least tried stresses me out even more. She even acted like she was above a job I actually did for a year until I could find something else just because it can be stressful and the hours can suck if you're unlucky. I believe being homeless sucks more but whatever, not my business anymore. Both friends are neet but are very different as well.

>>10873
>She even acted like she was above a job I actually did for a year until I could find something else
Doesn't sound like something a good friend would do, from your description she feels like an annoying person to deal with so good riddance.
If friendship brings more negatives than positives then it's not worth maintaining it.

Do you ever read something really dark / angsty / degenerate because you're upset and need to cope for whatever reason but then a moment or a concept hits you really hard emotionally out of nowhere even though it's fucked up?

>>10958
almost all the time.

>>10958
Yeah. A lot of the time during my depressive episodes I seek out dark stuff to cope and to vent and I'm enjoying it, but suddenly a switch inside of my head is triggered by some certain thing. Like something hits too close to home and I don't have the personal detachment from the work anymore.

I make it a rule not to read doujinshi of series or ships I'm unfamiliar with, but today I gave into the urge. Too bad I don't want to get into the main series since at least half of it on paper is not my vibe. Oh well.

Being a fujoshi isn't fun anymore. Fan spaces are filled with annoying people with shit takes on everything. Fanartists and fic writers never get my fave characters right and it pisses me the fuck off. Of course, I put my money where my mouth is and create the stuff I want to see, but I can't really shut the rest of the fandom out. Their shitty ooc fan interpretations always manages to seep into my field of vision no matter what and it's so aggravating.
I think I might be too autistic for this scene. Maybe I need to step away from fujoshism and pick up a normie hobby like hiking or day drinking or something until I've cooled down enough to go on AO3 without having an aneurysm…

>>11020
Befriending fellow nipons on xitter regained some of the love I had for fandom spaces again, I loved the circle jerk we curated making AUs and drawing scenarios from the fanfics from non artists and fanfic authors writing fanfic based off fanart. I still deactivated tho cause social media numbers intimidate me and a big account (who made landmine) retweeted my stuff sent a huge amount of engagement that got me anxious about normies liking my SFW stuff only to click on my account and see my derranged smut scenarios…

Nowadays I watch foreign accounts from afar and collect doujin for ship food. Its lonely but its the only way to keep my eternal devotion to BL without burning out into a normiefag. I'll pick up normie hobbies on the side but hell will freeze over before I stop being a fujo cause of fakejos shitting up the spaces we currated.

>>11020
Just have fun with the source material, that's how fandoms used to be before/during the first age of the internet.
Around early to mid 2010s is when fandom usurped the actual content in importance and things have been more obnoxious since.

>>11020
I've gone back to reading fanfics from ff.net and lj just to avoid the modern fandom interpretations and writing conventions. Most of my favorite series are old so there's still a big backlog of decent stuff to go through that I haven't seen already.
What I miss most is having fandom friends, but it's not worth the gamble of seeing people who make me want to tear my hair out.

>>11025
I have the problem of going back to old Fanfiction I used to enjoy only to realize it's very tween-y and kinda shit. Modern fanfiction that's good blows old stuff out of the water it's just a bitch to filter though infinite AUs and OOC shit like ABO.

>>11027
I think it really depends, since there have been incredibly talented authors across all sites and time periods. There are things I read long ago that still hold up now but also stuff that is as tween-y as you say.

In the spirit of the thread, my confession is that I've spent way, waaaay too much time lately trying to stalk out the current-day socials of old authors I liked just to see if they still make fic (the answer is usually no). I actually discovered one of them is a mutuals with another of my fujo friends, but they hate all their old writing and quit entirely so I have no reason to approach them, especially since it took a lot of guesswork to even find their new account.

Someone in my fandom made a week for a ship I strongly dislike, and it has less interaction/interest than my OTP's ship week. Brings me immense glee though I feel a bit bad about it lol.

>>11041
Don't feel bad about it. I'm the same way. There's a character I truly hate with every fiber of my being and the ship with him and the lead makes me puke. Despite him having fans, it tickles my schadenfreude knowing he's the least popular and the ship is also the least popular.

>>11041
>>11042
I always wonder what other anons' fandoms are when I read posts like this, not that I expect an answer for anonymity. I'm nosey and love it when people rant or shit on characters or ships kek, especially if they're popular.

>>11043
Yeah, my OTP is niche so it would be obvious it was me, I think… There's only two ship weeks as far as I'm aware in this fandom, OTP and the other pairing. Relatively small fandom as a whole. Tbf it's not that I think the other ship week shouldn't exist, it's just funny that despite the Bad Ship being more popular in numbers and on AO3, there doesn't seem to be any excitement around the week.

>>11043
I'd be open open about my interests on here if I didn't think I'd instantly get shit on.

>>11041
>>11042
You guys are so lucky… my biggest NOTP is the fandom's biggest ship and I cannot stetch a leg in one of the character's gen art tag without bumping into a NOTP fan making it about their ship.

>>11043
Funnily enough I ranted about said NOTP in the NOTP thread and I immediately got a reply from someone who liked the ship and put landmine art on their post. never again………….

>>11041
What a coincidence, I've been complaining about that ever since I saw it happen. I know what this is. Because I'm pretty sure the person who started that week event took the idea from seeing that /the unpopular ship/ held a week event earlier than them. Despite following the account for the rareship event, they don't actually care for it. I hope it fails not only because I hate the ship, but because I'm mad they deliberately stole an idea after seeing that an unpopular ship started to get more content. It sure motivates me more to shill the ever loving fuck out of it though.

>>11046
>my biggest NOTP is the fandom's biggest ship
This is what happens to me too, it's also the biggest ship for that character by a long shot, to the point he doesn't have any other ships and any and all mentions/showcases of the character inevitably lead to the NOTP. See fanart of the character alone, inconspicuously? 90% chance it's drawn by NOTP artist. I have to double check every time I see a fanart I like because it'll definitely be by someone who draws my NOTP and it just can't stop.

>>11047
The one being held in November, directly after the other week in October? LMAO yeah it's a little suspect. I get wanting more ship weeks for the fandom but why these dates specifically? In the past I've seen events with dates that have some significance to canon. IMO they should have waited.

I actually didn't know who was running it, but a quick run-through of the followers on both accounts makes it obvious. Also having two different accounts for t/b feels like overkill? I get that fans are easily triggered by different t/b dynamics for R specifically but it's such a small event, why spread it out over different accounts?

>>11048
I have a feeling it's precisely because they want more attention towards bottom R, and because bottom content of him is basically non-existent in the fandom and likely the person running the week wants to see more of it. I can give you having separate t/b accounts for ships that DO have a large autistic fanbase that warrants a separation (hoyo's phaidei/myphai come to mind) but for a ship that doesn't even have 5% of works with reverse content it seems very unnecesary.

>>11049
Huh. Well, admittedly, as someone who also enjoys bottom R, if what you say is true then I wish they would have made it a bottom R week instead, non-pairing specific.

>>11050
I think this goes back to the original problem of NOTPs and ship popularity. Obviously, the most popular ship is [redacted] and for most people, that's the only ship that exists and matters. But what if [redacted] was reversible? That's usually the extent of it (and it's not like content doesn't exist, just not in english). Even if a bottom (character) week had been made, there's no guarantee that [redacted] reverse pairing would have been in it, and perhaps most submissions would have been (other rare pairings) rather than the precise pair popular they wanted to see more of.
I would love to see a bottom r anthology/week at some point however, so I may think about that in the future hmmm

>>11051
>Even if a bottom (character) week had been made, there's no guarantee that [redacted] reverse pairing would have been in it, and perhaps most submissions would have been (other rare pairings) rather than the precise pair popular they wanted to see more of.
ngl I can't take this shit seriously because if someone wanted to see more of something, they should and can create it themselves (write, draw, or even get commissions) rather than hoping other people will submit or create stuff for them.

I am a slasher shipper through and through, and I miss when it was a bigger fandom with its own culture, instead of hanging off fujoshi spaces. I've always been more drawn to Western homoeroticism, and I have more fun digging through novels, movies and shows than anime. I even miss the pseudo-intellectualism of it…

okay, i know this is gonna sound weird
i can't remember if i told anyone here before, but there's a vibe between kenny and spenny….

nownownow i know that spenny hates kenny, but it's obvious that kenny feels something more for spenny

i don't know why i'm like this, they're just friends, but when i saw the episode "who can stay handcuffed the longest" there were so many moments where i thought "oh god, it'd be so good if they were together"
there was one scene at 10:21 (you can check it yourself) where kenny looks at spenny in a way

i'm happy i can say this reasonably anonymously because if i told this to my friends they'd think i'm insane X'D

>>11056
>Kenny vs Spenny in TYOOL 2025
Love your brain anon.

>>11055
It's still on tumblr to some degree (it's where I get my western media stuff) but it sucks that a lot of the fic writers on Ao3 don't often have socials because I remember what you are talking about and it was real CVLTVRE to have all of the BNFs/noteworthy writers sharing plotbunnies and support in their respective fandom's livejournal communities.
>I even miss the pseudo-intellectualism of it…
Now this I don't miss haha. The snooty English major types always seemed to have it out for the humble weeaboo.

>>11020
I'm starting to feel this way and it's making me sad. For the last few years I've done more digging than enjoying with my newer fandoms. It's a shame there is no such thing as fandom apprenticeships where you study under a master in order to make better fanworks. That's kind of what was happening in the livejournal days I mentioned above. You wanted to post a good fic because it meant senpai would probably leave a review! Now there doesn't seem to be that pressure to give your peers something worth their time. Maybe I'm also too autismo…

Started reading Mr A's Farm because two friends were talking about how bad it is and I wanted to join in. Unsure if I should mention to them that I agree with them but that it did make me masturbate.

every time i say something online, people rush to disagree. i get that it's part of the game. however, when it happens basically each and every time i say anything it gets tiring.

if there isn't anything controversial about my statement, people will twist my words so they can find something to complain about anyways.

example: if i say i personally like ukes to be shorter, but that i dont think there is anything wrong with preferring a taller uke, someone will butt in to say they think im perpetrating gender norms and that their ukes need to be taller. i explicitly stated i dont think thats a problem, so whats the point of counterarguing like that?

it has gotten to a point where i dont know if most people just lack reading comprehension or if they're looking for things to be upset over on purpose. it's probably the latter since even when i'm not expressing an opinion and just asking a question someone will still complain, for instance with some inane bullshit about how said question is phrased.

>>11202
If it's that type of opinion you're talking about I'm sure plenty of other social media users would agree with you if they somehow managed to find your posts. However depending on how many followers you have it's likely the more well adjusted fujoshi online have private accounts and hide from the people who reply to you so I doubt they can find you. It's frustrating, I know in theory I could find like minded fujoshi on twitter but the few fujo mutuals I have have locked their profiles and followed me first, that's how I "found" them.

>>11202
This shit happens all the time in the shit you hate thread and the unpopular opinion thread here. You say literally anything and some autistic anon shows up and goes
>uhm ackchually
IDGAF bitch this isn't about you STFU

>>11218
>Person post unpopular opinion
>Someone disagrees
>They explain why they do
I don't have an issue in theory I just wish people were more civil about it. Disagreement is the backbone of a conversation if everyone agrees it's just a boring circle jerk.

I'm so tired of autists in fandom.

>>11218
>>11219
I don't post or reply in either thread that often but sometimes I like to reply to share my own tastes or perspective to start a discussion. I hope I don't step on any other anon's landmines here or come across as disrespectful.

>>11221
>>11219
disagreeing isn't a problem at all. as you both said, it's definitely the way one disagrees that is crucial for it to not come across as disrespectful or just annoying.

beyond that, i want to reiterate that what pisses me off is also the disagreeing for disagreement's sake i often see online, and not only necessarily in fujo spaces or specifically in here (though it happens a lot in both too).

it's when someone says something and the other person replies by basically making up a point that was never stated in the op, just to say how they don't think this imaginary issue they created is right or how they don't personally like it. when that happens i'm genuinely like, at this point just talk to yourself because it's not even me you're replying to anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>11220
Spergs are the main reason I stopped caring about fandom.

>>11220
Me too. I also can't stand them irl, at least online I can block them but having friends and seeing people irl during cons being annoying as hell in that one specific type of way is too much for me now.

>>11222
>also the disagreeing for disagreement's sake i often see online, and not only necessarily in fujo spaces or specifically in here (though it happens a lot in both too).
Same, when someone disagrees I want them to basically pitch me their viewpoint, tell me what they enjoy or hate about something. You don't like crybaby uke or seme? Tell me why and what you prefer. You like stripper AU? Tell me what I'm missing. I hate people who leave one sentence "fuck you's" more than people who lack reading comprehension for that reason. At least with the person imagining shit I have something to argue against.

>>11222
NAYRT but I see this a lot, and it's so aggravating. I don't engage in social media, but I feel annoyed for the person making the post. It's exactly like that one waffles/pancakes post kek. I like seeing people have different opinions, and I love reading people's discussion about those opinions. I feel like this is becoming more rare. Now, it feels like people often don't have a rebuttal, and they have to make the discussion about something else entirely because they don't have a good reply to the original poster's point.