No.7707
>>7706I'm sorry girl I have this shitlib autocorrect embedded into my hands. (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞
No.7712
>>7705This is so helpful! I didn't consider that COVID would've still had such an impact in cities, and I feel a little silly for not thinking to check the street views…
Thank you for the Vancouver recommendation, though! I hadn't considered living near Portland, but a handful of family friends have moved there over the years, so that will definitely be a contender
I should be doing my due diligence on crime rates and safety of where I get a place, my area has historically had a major heroin/meth problem but usually addicts holed up in meth houses to avoid trouble, idk how well I'd handle any direct confrontation
Thank you again!
No.7713
I need help from fellow fujos who sail the seas, where do you usually download bl cds from?
No.7716
>>7713Aarin still the best after all these years. There is also blcd.online which has a much smaller collection but let's you stream.
No.7897
Any of you been able to fix totally fucked sleep without medical intervention?
By totally fuck talking, recently, my sleep schedule was going to sleep at 8am every morning (have since walked back from this a little but still not great (5-6am))
I work during the day and thus have reason to be awake during this time and yet, I have never been able to adjust since the moment I started sleeping alone as a child
No.7898
>>7897I don't know much about your general circumstances, but I did have bouts of sleep problems back in college that I needed to get rid of because I was failing due to how it left me so fatigued everyday. Things like blackout curtains, hot showers when you arrive at home, hot tea with honey, reduced screen time at night yada yada etc, etc. Is generally useful if you do it all at once.
But something that helped me personally, and I'm not bullshitting, is to stick with a time you want to sleep no matter what; try to have a clear mind ~15 minutes before you sleep; and imagine your otp or your fav character fucking or getting fucked in the ass when you close your eyes. And you must force yourself to only think of that when you sleep in order for it to be effective. That way, it doesn't feel like a chore to go to sleep and try to procrastinate into doing something you have a hard time doing (assuming you don't have a severe case of insomnia). It doesn't necessarily have to be "your fave fucking" if you don't want that, could be anything you want, but you need to imagine a scenario that is both unrealistic in the real world but something that you absolutely want to happen in your fantasies.
Also op, I know you said "no medical intervention" but if you don't like all of the above you could try melatonin gummy supplements. Personally, I haven't tried that but I've heard some people done it before so you could give that a shot.
No.7899
>>7898>try to have a clear mind ~15 minutes before you sleep; and imagine your otp or your fav character fucking or getting fucked in the ass when you close your eyesKek. DA and a slightly different problem but I used to have issues falling asleep, would just stay awake thinking of nothing for 2 hours every night and this is exactly what I did to fix it. Still have a terrible sleep schedule because of other reasons but I'm able to fall asleep pretty quickly when need be.
No.7901
>>7897I think what I need to know is whether you struggle to fall asleep when you get in bed, or if it's the getting to bed that's an issue. I often get caught in this stupid routine where I'm tired and can't keep track of time, and the tiredness then becomes not wanting to get up and do the routine for bed. I'll keep finding things to read for hours then realize it's 7am and I have to go or it'll be too bright to sleep. The trick for that is to turn off PC and phone and force myself up, but that's only possible when I don't procrastinate checking messages and doing game dailies. Sometimes the promise of a book in bed helps, or a podcast. Just make sure it's dragging you away from scrolling and checking. A friend swears by an app that plays classical music radio for 30mins and fades out gradually, but I think I'd be bothered on a sleepless night by noticing it's been thirty minutes and I hadn't nodded off.
>>7898I plan fics in bed to get to sleep, always have, and every plot involves someone cuddling in bed and falling asleep, haha.
Also not a medical intervention but other things you can drink in preparation for bed: camomile teas, malt drinks, and mint teas are good if your tummy makes noises when you lie down. I've got a barley drink that has added magnesium which is supposed to be good for sleep health but I think the fiber in the barley has done more for me. Smells like coffee so I'd avoid drinking it at night.
No.7905
>>7897You could try some apps like Cold Turkey that will lock your computer/phone for you at certain times but you will have to pay for the full version if you want the schedule mode (CT is a pretty reasonable one-time price)
There are various ways to make your block untouchable if you never want to get tempted to undo it, but it can lead to inflexibility if you need your computer late at night for something important.
If you have a TV, though, you can still get fucked and distracted late at night. This is the problem I'm currently trying to deal with.
No.7906
>>7905Sameanon again but another basic thing that usually works for me is leaving the curtains open. If your bed is next to a window then the light will be right in your face and it's the easiest way to make yourself get up. When you've gone to bed super late it's best to wake up as early as possible so you will get tired earlier, but sometimes it'll make you sleepy in the afternoon instead which you have to avoid.
No.8033
>>7898>>7899>>7901>>7905>>7906Gracias minasama! I had like 2 days of sleeping at 11pm and midnight, I've since switched back to my twisted falling asleep at 8am though.
I'm not even really sure what I did, I just finally felt comfortable for once, but it drifted away quickly. I really don't know!
No.8034
>>7898>But something that helped me personally, and I'm not bullshitting, is to stick with a time you want to sleep no matter what; try to have a clear mind ~15 minutes before you sleep; and imagine your otp or your fav character fucking or getting fucked in the ass when you close your eyes. This is unironically what I always do. Helps wonders. I do it automatically actually but noticed that I fell asleep quickly since I started doing it in my late teens. Before that I was always lying in bed fully awake for hours. I think that imagining sexual situations helps because makes the brain foggy in a good way so it's already a prestage of dozing off.
No.8035
How to i cover my ass after saying some terfy things to my handmaiden sister? Yada yada i’m spineless coward but i really love and care for her that i don’t want to destroy my relationship over retarded shit.
No.8036
>>8035What did you say to her?
I would try some soft gaslighting. If she tries to confront you on what you said, act like you don't understand what you did wrong. Question why she has such a problem with what you said and make her out to be hyper sensitive.
No.8037
>>8035What you said does matter I guess, but I just wouldn't bring it up if she doesn't.
No.8040
>>8035act uneducated about the subject showing some sort of innocent interest in learning more and being clueless about what you said having been "wrong".
handmaidens love to explain and act like they're opening your eyes to social justice.
then thank her for explaining and either act like you agree with her now, or say you need some time to reflect on this new information you acquired (if you don't want to go all out) and don't bring up the subject again around her.
No.8175
Can anyone rec French language BL content? Especially if there's maybe a freestanding M/M novel scene in FR? I need to learn the language, but the only thing that can really motivate me is BL, but fandoms I like don't have much on ao3.
No.8178
>>8175If you're talking about French original works I can't help. But the two biggest publishers for BL manga in French are Hana editions and Taifu, if you want to check them out, and there are others as well but they're smaller or were bought by other companies long ago so I can't remember their names. Be careful though, some of Hana and Taifu's manga are printed and published with a lot of typos for some reason.
No.8196
>>8193i know this is sacrilege but r/ao3 is good. you won't get harassment for your ships, no matter how unsavoury. the people on there will defend you so long as you don't attack them for their ships/fan opinions.
tumblr is also pretty great, people telling u that it's become more chill since the porn ban are correct.
No.8197
>>8193Tumblr is basically useless for newer fandoms afaik. Nothing that I like that was made after 2014 has any sort of discussion or fanbase there. At best there are like five Japanese fans that dump their twitter art and get 0 likes for it. So if you go there check whether your fanbase even exists.
That said people always claim that the tumblr users were the cool ones and twitter got the shizos but at least for the Transformers fandom it's the exact opposite. Tumblr is a better home for insane trannies, kinners and other fans I don't want to be around the worst of all Asians are basically inactive on tumblr, making it useless on principle for me.
Tumblr might work if your fandom is older and western though. I don't care about discourse on twitter because I never stumble upon it on there. I only see what the people I follow post/retweet and more of the shit that I "like" in the "for you" tab, if there is any.
No.8198
>>8193Make a website on neocities. Post all of your content and ships there. Make shrine webpages and sperg about what makes you happy. You can use templates if you don't know html. Nobody can harass you. You can socialize on other sites while having a website as a home base.
No.8200
>>8197Been around all the major social media for TF and I gotta say, twitter's been the least problematic for me but only if you early block the miners and womanchildren.
Finding character discussion on twitter is like stepping through a broken glass factory but it's better than reddit. As much as I like the M/M ships, it's bizarre how hated the M/F pairings are when every male gets a pussy. I've ranted enough in the TF thread here, but man- it's weird.
No.8201
>>8196>>8197>r/ao3A lot of profic fanfic writers are active there, right? I'm not a writer myself, but if I ever decide to start writing fic, at least I know where to find a safe space.
>TumblrThinking about it now, lack of Asian artists is definitely a huge downside for me, especially since most of my fandoms are of Japanese media… For a lot of them, the Asian side is arguably the ONLY decent part of the fandom. I'll still look into it just in case, but it's a lower priority website now for sure.
>TwitterI always knew algorithm gonna algorithm, but now I'm realizing I probably permanently fucked my lurker private account by being a bit too morbidly curious about all sorts of dumb discourse of the week a few years back kekkk. If I do end up making a public Twitter, I'll definitely block more liberally (and stop clicking on retarded ragebait). Maybe then I won't have an aneurysm everytime I open that app…
>>8198>NeocitiesI remember hearing about that and finding it really cool. I found some websites for some of my fandoms, including people who have made shrines for really niche ships, it reminded me of the love and passion for one's own ships that made me fall in love with the idea of fandom back in the day. I'm definitely keeping it in mind.
Thank you nonas for your responses, I'm an absolute boomer when it comes to socializing online, especially now that social media feels bigger than ever. I think for now I'm going to test the waters with a public Twitter since I'm already at least familiar with the atmosphere there and I'll see where to go from there.
No.8202
>>8201I was in the same boat as you when it came to not using social media and being anxious online so you can always sperg here too if that makes you feel better. I hope you can find a close group of fandom friends online. I honestly wouldn't know where to go either since my fandoms are Japanese media as well. Discussions on imageboards seem much better than toxic positivity and minors everywhere
No.8203
>>8202I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with social media, it's a great way to meet new people and yet it feels like someone is always out there watching and judging if that makes sense. Thank you nona, I really do miss having a fandom friend group, I hate knowing I abandoned something that now I crave so badly, even though it didn't happen on purpose. I'm glad I lucked out and found this site at least, not being tied to an account/identity definitely makes posting easier.
No.8208
>>8200
>when every male gets a pussy.hey! leave my cuntboy porn alone (is there a better name for them? like futa)
No.8224
>>8208Cuntboy deserves all the hate, ire, repulsion, and lynching it rightfully receives.
No.8227
>>8208I legitimately would not mind cuntboy porn if there was a way to filter it out.
Valveplug is the catch all for any lewd TF art and a solid 99% of it is this. It's just valve (vagina and often fully humanoid and detailed) and plug (whoever's plugging in and topping). There's no "cock and balls" tag so to speak. AO3 has types of sex tagged but more often than not, its untagged even if labeled as something else.
I feel bad for non TF fans who's fandom agrees someone has a pussy and you just will not get anything of them without it. But I don't think there is a single bottom Megs art in existence (on twitter) where everyone's got a penis. And sadly the one time I did find it, it was futa.
No.8228
>>8227I don't even like wireplay that much but this is the reason I ended up reading only wireplay. "Valves" didn't use to be vaginas, they used to be more mechanical - what the fuck happened?
No.8235
>>8228Gendie craze happened.
No.8237
>>8198I've been planning for the last forever to make a site and I was thinking of going with nekoweb as the host because if I ever want to separate site domains (eg. fandom site VS original stories) they're a little cheaper for their paid service.
Then I realized last night, why can't I just make a nekoweb and a neocities? Time to learn what's happened to HTML in the 20 years since I last made a webpage.
No.8240
are any of you in relationships or are we all femcels here?
im worried about being a permavirgin cuz im autistic and wanna know how it's done.
No.8243
>>8240I'm a loser kissless virgin but it's because of religious trauma and I have "high" standards but I live in a city with ugly short balding chain smoking men. Nothing to do with autism. At my age it's seen as very weird so the more time passes the less likely I am to change my situation but given the local options I don't really care.
No.8244
>>8240I had my first sexual encounter like 3 years ago but it ended up with me having a broken heart and being awfully depressed for a while. Until just a few months I can say I fully got over it. Even then that was the only man I've been attracted to and I can't find anyone else attractive even if they're men who are super nice to me and have feelings for me.
It might be autism (I'm not diagnosed so idk) but I rarely feel attracted towards real men, I have moments where I feel like having a relationship would be wonderful but others where I start thinking about how tiring it would be. Maybe I get tired of social interactions too quickly. I might not die a kissless virgin but I've never actually been in a relationship cuz something in my brain is blocking any potential attraction I might have towards men, I wonder what it is but now that I'm over my heartbreak it's more curiosity than frustration really.
No.8246
>>824030+ here, was never in a relationship or kissed. But I don't want it so I would rather say I'm a volcel. Men always treated me like a boy (or dude) so I never even perceived myself as sexual, though I like sex and relationships as a concept which is why I love shipping. I cannot imagine that I was able to bond enough with anybody to live together or anything, even if there was no sex involved. Not sure.
I am probably autistic because I can feel attracted (albeit rarely) to 2D characters and I think that's not only for the looks (I don't even like bishounen) but because you get into characters heads in fiction since the story literally tells you what they think and feel. I am really bad at guessing real people's feelings and I only really befriend someone if they share the same passions with me which basically never happens.
No.8247
>>8224ok but think of it like this– your fav is super butch– gym on the daily– shoulders the size of rugby balls– AND he's got extreme macho insecurity– hes a Jotaro.
Some kind of in-universe magic comes in and poof, he wakes up with a pussy– and God, he's unhappy about it bc he can't bang chicks 2nite or whatever chaddy moids do!!!
Push comes to shove, his chaddy gymbro tops him. Or maybe his effeminate uke bf finally gets to top him!!! regardless, he's getting topped.
it's sexy- u just don't get it.
No.8248
>>8247It's hotter if he has a dick to fuck with but gets topped regardless, though.
No.8249
>>8248one day, when you mature, you'll understand….
No.8250
>>8247This would be hotter for me if his dick and balls disappeared and didn’t get replaced with a pussy. Although I do get the appeal is probably for fujos that are more attracted to women.
No.8252
>>8247Nta but I don't I'd rather he just get raped, he's still a man, macho as fuck but Steely Dan tops and humilates him. Then you have the intrrnalized guilt abd angst afterwards of him dealing with the fact that men shouldn't get raped and he should have been strong enough to fight the guy off.
If you don't like angsty rape shit you can still have the macho guy, who is totally straight deal with an aloof much smaller gay guy who is constantly teasing and basically makes macho guy feel self-conscious about his manliness. Push comes to shove and "You aren't going to chicken out of letting me take you right?"
>>8248Exactly. There are many ways to bring down a character without resorting to weird cuntboy shit. Imo a mental failing is better than a physical failing. Fuck or die is another set up I don't mind for external forces.
No.8253
>>8248I'm with you here. If he gets a pussy then it's like, he's just making the best of a bad predicament. If he gets to keep his d&b, then him getting fucked and enjoying it has an extra bit of tasty humiliation. Like he *could* fuck normally, but he just likes being some other guy's bitch that much more, as much as he hates to admit it.
No.8254
>>8247It’s really not sexy at all…
No.8255
>>8240Been in a relationship for 5 years and counting. Working on getting myself into a position where I can marry him but the economy is scary right now. My relationship just came about from the fact that we used to be coworkers, I don't know how I would have gone about getting a date before I met him I thought I was going to be single for life since I never had any frienda or social life in high school, I wouldn’t stress it nonna or go out of your way to try dating apps they'll either come into your life or they won't.
No.8256
>>8247Your formatting and fanfiction gave me cancer. Never do that to me again, cuntnoisseur
No.8258
>>8256Kek, I like this Anon
No.8262
>>8246Similar situation here, but I have lived with guys and the only people making it difficult were my family who all assumed we had to be fucking. That was what made me realize I'd never thought of myself sexually or how to do anything sexual with anyone.
Autism runs in my family and my best friends from school got diagnosed in their 20s. I only don't know about myself because there's this expectation on me to be the "normal child" or else my folks fucked up. Welp. One of these days I better look into it and see if there's free money for me.
>>8250Put his dick in a cage so the frustration builds on having it right there but unable to touch or use it.
>>8256Honestly reads like someone trying too hard to fit in. "Chaddy moid", really?
No.8272
>>8240I have never felt that relationships replace what I get from 2D but I also don't feel any need to pick one or the other. The best advice I can give is to find someone whose autism is compatible with your own. You do have to be prepared to take a shot and be let down if you find somebody you would like to be involved with. Don't hyperfixate but don't let opportunities pass unexplored.
>>8262>Similar situation here, but I have lived with guys and the only people making it difficult were my family who all assumed we had to be fuckingI've had something like this happen. My mother wouldn't stop prying into this guy and our relationship status until I told her I had no interest in any romantic relationship with him but had fooled around with him on a night I was feeling bored. She never asked again after that.
No.8440
>>8437>but do I have to be the one to make all the advances?>I'm stuck wondering if I will have to be the "spontaneous" one between us, and if that is doomed to failIf being the initiator most/all of the time is something that will eat at you, you need to tell him to see if he can meet you halfway or not. I am a chill person in a relationship with a person an even chiller person and sometimes we have to ask questions that would seem really stupid to an outsider to penetrate the two placid walls between our hearts.
Personally I don't believe in opposites attract because "golden retriever bf" (roughly what I would consider my opposite) sounds really annoying. When there are popular "dog/cat" ships in my fandoms I always feel like the cat character is sincerely having an awful time, lol.